In a world where we hurry all the time, we forget to have natural expreriences. With a background in history I try to grab colors, symbols and ancient cultures to make a connection between then and now. And frankly……they look-a-like if we are willing to see it. Yes, we have changed as humans, but our foundation remains. I am always trying to change my styles and mediums, but the colours and symbols of the earth are always visible.
When I moved in 2017 I destroyed most of my old abstract works. They reminded too much of feeling rejected by my parents. But I still have a kind of longing for this past because it feels safe. That is why, if you look at my work, you sometimes might get a sentimental or depressed feeling. But it is sentiment. It is the past, it is gone. We have to let things go. A fresh start. Re-inventing myself and my way of working. In my works of the past years you feel and see the shift from works that are dominated by darkness and anger, towards intimacy, vurnerability and curiosity in my last works. At the moment I am rediscovering an old tranfer technique. As you will see in my latest works, I am trying to get close to a secret recipe.
I have a very clear vision of what I want to accomplish. In the last year I went into retreat for about five times in a Buddhist monastery. To meditate, reflect and to learn about how the world can inspire you and how it can indoctrinate you.
A very interesting part of Buddhism is the search for what we call a ‘self’ and how to free yourself from attachment. I want to explore what existence and non-exisentence really is and what we would be as humans if there was no ego at all. What remains if you free yourself from your ego, frustrations, anger, illusions or pain? Would you be able to still connect with the surrounding world or do you become mentally disconected with people. Buddhist traditions teach, that if you become selfless, eventually you will be enlighted. Then you have the choice to be reincarnated to teach humankind or step out of the circle of samsara…the circle of rebirth. So, if you are enlighted and living on this planet of ours, how can you even connect with other humans. How would you experience that? The most interesting part is how to picture this. – How can you depict something that isn’t there?
As I have mentioned I am rediscovering the oil transfer technique by Tonny Christians. The artists who worked in a similar way are, for instance, Jules Pascin, Paul Klee and Paul Gaugin. They all did it in their own style, but Christians technique is the most mysterious one because he used a secret oil paint mixture in the transfer instead of ink. The result is a almost etch-like. I am close to finding out the perfect recipe for this technique and I would really love to share the results.